This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

no longer writing in the third person

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities

which magnetises chains of pins

isaac newton

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

ion

like magnets

i was tempted to lie about my name

My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

sorry i am texting like a slav

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

its good