mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.


so the method has to be autonomous

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17


13, H, grate

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.


"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

autonomy of learning

division of reality is straying away from it

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

in a post. I want to be remembered

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59



Picture

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting