We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

but i respect your search

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Rain, starting

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

Lift Analysis

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

much more tactility

god "possessing" artists "possessing" people

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

thank you

so an active mazelike process

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

which magnetises chains of pins

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

Worse Lift

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

i have read not even 1 book