i was tempted to lie about my name
He was a proper old-fashioned London geezer (cringe word, hate it, can't think
of a better one, worst of all it's the correct word), kind of East Endy, kind
of Real London, the kind you don't really meet but if you do it always feels
like an uncanny immersive theatre experience. They're anachronistic. They only
belong in the London collectively imagined by people who don't spend any time
in it.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.
Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life
2 (actually index). two is company
i got bored
though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed
to stick at it longer
to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent
real but its very manifestation
Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion,
and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be
processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your
subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.
somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
It Will Get Lighter
Rain, starting
I Write Goodbye Letter
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
Today I felt like starting
but i respect your search
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned
and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre
of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression
division of reality is straying away from it
IWGD
