Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

I am below everything.

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Picture

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?


My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

Style

And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

Thank you, Jack, for telling me I'm just as bad as the characters (actually they're people, if that means anything to you) that I'm writing about.

idk

the site i am dreaming

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class