As I'm trying to tell my Korean colleague / fresh meat that this is abnormal, that most people in England aren't like this, the host of the party emerges from the bathroom to a roar of laughter and applause. He's a fat middle aged Frenchman and he's changed into traditional Indian dress and a turban. He looks fucking ridiculous. I try to back away, to avoid the inevitable photo of me in this moment that will one day appear to ruin my life, but everyone is crowding around, trapping me in the middle of it.

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

kind of mythopoesis

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

in a post. I want to be remembered

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Lift Analysis

Better Lift

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

hiding from the rain

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

its good

ahnaf abrar

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class