We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

It Will Get Lighter

13, H, grate

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

Rain, starting

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She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

currently

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

we can only engage in such a way

no longer writing in the third person

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.