We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Worse Lift

"Put a blanket."

in a post. I want to be remembered

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

hiding from the rain

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

yeah

what do you think my name is

but really the thing should be autonomous

Lift Analysis

i want to do that too

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

December 2025

abrar?