Worse Lift

but i respect your search

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine 
        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

FOUNDING DOCUMENT


"Put a blanket."

I'm sat out the front of a cafe in Hatton Garden. I've just eaten a brie and bacon panini, and I'm rolling a cigarette. Feeling very London. An old man comes up to me and asks for a roll-up. I oblige.

not so on: yvf(wthw)

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.