the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

1

It's

dusk

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

you cannot feed someone truth

so the method has to be autonomous

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you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

magnetisation/form

is this you as well

i was tempted to lie about my name

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities

its good

IWGD

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

its good

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

ion

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

in a post. I want to be remembered