She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
no like which do people call me
yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf
what do you think my name is
ahnaf abrar
i really havent
abrar?
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models
bro i read nothing in my life
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
is this you as well
kind of mythopoesis
thank you
i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse
magnetises a pin
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
so the method has to be autonomous
and the fake qualifier
The Hatton geezer (fuck off) is emptying his pockets, searching for the silver rizlas he apparently has. He refuses to take one of mine (also silver) because the tobacco I'm giving him is already too much to ask. He tells me about the guy who can do 50g of Golden Virginia for a good price, the guy who every other man over 50 knows. I'm not interested.
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.
magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you
Lift Analysis
A roll of 50s is one of the items he dumps onto my table during the search. Of course it is. He asks if I'm a delivery boy or a setter or this or that diamond related job. I keep saying no, I'm enjoying hearing all of these new words. Eventually I tell him that I work in film, which is kind of true. He asks where I'm filming. I'm not filming. He tells me that I can't be that good at it then. He then tells me that he made a film once, in the 80s. It was called Pimlico Rats.
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
sorry i am texting like a slav
but i respect your search
Thank you, Jack, for telling me I'm just as bad as the characters (actually they're people, if that means anything to you) that I'm writing about.