it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

...

was it worth it

i really havent

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

wait what is that

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

I Write Goodbye Letter

i dont understand magnetisation

or never left

no like which do people call me

we need to be deconstructing our identities

like first name

so an active mazelike process

way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

what do you think my name is

was it worth it

yeah

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

I am below everything.

idk

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine