it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful



It Will Get Lighter

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One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.


It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

or never left

propensity within someone

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

so an active mazelike process

so at the end

you cannot feed someone truth

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

so the method has to be autonomous