Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette
while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and
his fireworks bearer down on the bank.
He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building.
He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.
We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty
cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks
for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of
some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.
you know who you are. no more time, not like
1
. way too
specific.
⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️
Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15
Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the
dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh
meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.
13, H, grate
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream
education now
no like which do people call me
