all that is to say

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

its performative

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

it is hopeful

much more tactility

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

Today I felt like starting

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

hiding from the rain

division of reality is straying away from it

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

"Put a blanket."

currently

It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.

not their contents

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me