Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
fw
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
Better Lift
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
we can only engage in such a way
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.
yeah
We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.
Today I felt like starting
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
autonomy of learning