The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."

propensity within someone

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

so at the end

i see a website

1

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

Better Lift

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

i was tempted to lie about my name

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

that looks like my instagram account

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

i dont understand magnetisation

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

hiding from the rain

yeah

I am below everything.

we need to be deconstructing our identities

lol

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books