the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

lol yea

what do you mean

i want to do that too

It Will Get Lighter

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

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magnetisation/form

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

isaac

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

hiding from the rain

i dont understand magnetisation

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them