it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

I Write Goodbye Letter

but i respect your search

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Rain, starting

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

no longer writing in the third person


Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46