much more tactility

It Will Get Lighter

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

It Will Get Lighter

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

Rain, starting

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.

I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

A procession forms behind the French Raj and his fireworks bearer as they head out the door. I've lost my Korean colleague / fresh meat in the chaos. I'm sure he'll be able to fend for himself. They have mandatory military service in Korea.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

There is a pretty persistent ambient hate in England, a lot of people say vile shit about Muslims or immigrants or whatever, but in my experience most people aren't actual white supremacists. They have a black friend who they get a beer with. One of the good ones. Etc.

i was tempted to lie about my name

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

13, H, grate

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

feel you

abrar?

stalgivc is the greatest poster of all time

its good

December 2025

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."