with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise
this is going to be awful.
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours
of the morning,
when I'm not quite right.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just
their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them
in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's
using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their
voices are betraying them.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing
with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there
is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.
Today I felt like starting
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15
It Will Get Lighter
2 (actually index). two is company
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story
a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling
something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever
but the thinking is useful
