a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Lift Analysis

i really havent

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

Picture

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

was it worth it

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

i see a website

way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |