like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

all that is to say

so the method has to be autonomous

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

kind of mythopoesis

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

you cannot feed someone truth

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

you have a beautiful account btw

its performative

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter