As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

hello reader,

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

It Will Get Lighter

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

He was a proper old-fashioned London geezer (cringe word, hate it, can't think of a better one, worst of all it's the correct word), kind of East Endy, kind of Real London, the kind you don't really meet but if you do it always feels like an uncanny immersive theatre experience. They're anachronistic. They only belong in the London collectively imagined by people who don't spend any time in it.

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

is this you as well

⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

abrar?

bro i read nothing in my life

autonomy of learning

its good short few pages

"Put a blanket."

The only real Londoner remaining is old, bitter, kept around for entertainment, defined by tropes from 30+ years ago. They play gangsters in films, or they work in a pie and mash shop, or they go on Business Insider's YouTube channel to tell you about their crimes. And they somehow still find the time to spend all day hanging about cafes and pubs for you to bump into, to remind you of Real London.

It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.

i understand

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

. way too specific.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

its good