was it worth it
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
I am below everything.
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
you cannot feed someone truth
thank you
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet
Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?
in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation
it is hopeful