And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

Rain, starting

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

god being the centre magnet

i was tempted to lie about my name

which magnetises chains of pins

magnetises a pin

and the fake qualifier

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

no longer writing in the third person

we can only engage in such a way

no like which do people call me

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

i really havent

  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

thank you

Picture

so the method has to be autonomous

what do you mean

abrar?

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

Better Lift