It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.

like first name

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

lol yea

no i haven't really read anything

...

way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

...

what do you think my name is

feel you


It Will Get Lighter

thank you

which magnetises chains of pins

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

. way too specific.

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

magnetises a pin

in a post. I want to be remembered

but really the thing should be autonomous

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

yeah

autonomy of learning

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging