the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

so at the end

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

propensity within someone

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

you cannot feed someone truth

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

so the method has to be autonomous

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

not their contents

much more tactility

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

magnetisation/form

Worse Lift

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

Better Lift

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

have you read

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

is this you as well

i love it here

plato

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

its good