it is hopeful

but really the thing should be autonomous

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

you cannot feed someone truth

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

hiding from the rain

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

It Will Get Lighter

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

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brb i will read and reply sincerely

its performative

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

Lift Analysis

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

but i respect your search

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?