it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

so the method has to be autonomous

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Can I see

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

no longer writing in the third person

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

magnetisation/form

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Thank you, Jack

and the fake qualifier

abrar?

i want to do that too

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

i was tempted to lie about my name