you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

currently

it is hopeful

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

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"Put a blanket."

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Picture

Rain, starting

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

no longer writing in the third person

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

its good

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

fw