She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
so the method has to be autonomous
i see a website
"Put a blanket."
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models
you have a beautiful account btw
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
i love it here
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying
i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
barren land
its good
so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities
yeah
god "possessing" artists "possessing" people
division of reality is straying away from it
which magnetises chains of pins
feel you