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but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

magnetises a pin

you cannot feed someone truth

Rain, starting

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

yeah

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

no longer writing in the third person

lol

propensity within someone

fw

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.