Thank you, Jack, for telling me I'm just as bad as the characters (actually they're people, if that means anything to you) that I'm writing about.

...

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

It Will Get Lighter

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

Lift Analysis

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

not their contents

It Will Get Lighter

"Put a blanket."

13, H, grate

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

brb i will read and reply sincerely

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

He was a proper old-fashioned London geezer (cringe word, hate it, can't think of a better one, worst of all it's the correct word), kind of East Endy, kind of Real London, the kind you don't really meet but if you do it always feels like an uncanny immersive theatre experience. They're anachronistic. They only belong in the London collectively imagined by people who don't spend any time in it.

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

autonomy of learning

all that is to say

1

⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This actor had scored a minor role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

abrar?

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

was it worth it

lol yea