and the fake qualifier

so at the end

so an active mazelike process

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

its good

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

1

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

I am below everything.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

we need to be deconstructing our identities

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

so the method has to be autonomous

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

much more tactility

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away