1

like magnets

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

as in

division of reality is straying away from it

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities

so the method has to be autonomous

its performative

god "possessing" artists "possessing" people

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.
  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.


Thank you, Jack

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building. He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.


Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

2 (actually index). two is company

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

I Write Goodbye Letter

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.