We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

1

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Can I see

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

yes

yeah

feel you

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

i want to do that too

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

December 2025

magnetisation/form

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.