It Will Get Lighter

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

"Put a blanket."

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

autonomy of learning

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

as in

really i want the internet

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine

kind of mythopoesis

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

you have a beautiful account btw

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.