currently

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

as in

like magnets

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

fw

plato

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building. He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.

division of reality is straying away from it

abrar?

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

have you read

no i haven't really read anything

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

bro i read nothing in my life

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."