i understand
in a post. I want to be remembered
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
hiding from the rain
kind of mythopoesis
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
it is hopeful
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
December 2025
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
so the method has to be autonomous
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
like magnets
Lift Analysis
feel you