I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

It Will Get Lighter

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Thank you, Jack

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

hiding from the rain

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.