One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

much more tactility

Today I felt like starting

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

I am below everything.

It Will Get Lighter

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

        13       |
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            H   |
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. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
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Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

13, H, grate

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

so at the end

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

so the method has to be autonomous

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

not their contents

so an active mazelike process

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

which magnetises chains of pins

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

yes

is this you as well