My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
as in
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
so an active mazelike process
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
so at the end
so the method has to be autonomous
hiding from the rain
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
all that is to say
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
god being the centre magnet
what do you think my name is
i really havent
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
i really havent
abrar?