it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
autonomy of learning
like magnets
plato
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things
magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.plato
no longer writing in the third person
we need to be deconstructing our identities
god being the centre magnet
god "possessing" artists "possessing" people
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now