mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

i see a website

ahnaf abrar

like first name

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.

i was tempted to lie about my name

Thank you, Jack

not so on: yvf(wthw)

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.