we need to be deconstructing our identities


Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

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She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

currently

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.


something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

it is hopeful

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.


but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

propensity within someone

magnetisation/form

like magnets

god "possessing" artists "possessing" people

i want to do that too

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models