a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Today I felt like starting

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

in a post. I want to be remembered

13, H, grate

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

lol yea

like magnets

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.

fw

magnetisation/form

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

Thank you, Jack

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

I Write Goodbye Letter

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting