it is hopeful
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
no longer writing in the third person
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
lol yea
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
all that is to say
as in
currently
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
fw