Today I felt like starting
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
in a post. I want to be remembered
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
is this you as well
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
god being the centre magnet
so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities
there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.
much more tactility
magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you
hiding from the rain
which magnetises chains of pins
its performative
god "possessing" artists "possessing" people