no longer writing in the third person
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
really i want the internet
We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
I am below everything.
Better Lift
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
what do you think my name is
ahnaf abrar
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
so the method has to be autonomous
we can only engage in such a way
have you read
no i haven't really read anything